• Señor Negro
    1.6k
    I know my english is far from perfect but comparing to some memes out there I feel like a king :cool:


    RIP English:

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  • Baron23
    11.4k
    A group of HELLS ANGELS, South Carolina bikers were riding east on 378 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge. So they stopped.

    George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says,
    "Hey Baby . . . whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"

    She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"

    While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked . . "Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe . . .
    why don't you give ol' George here your best last kiss?

    So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that . . .
    and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.

    After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting there, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"

    "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

    It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.
  • Baron23
    11.4k
    Morris Schwartz is dying and on his deathbed.

    He is surrounded by his nurse, his wife, his daughter and two sons, and knows the end is near. So he says to them:

    "Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses."

    "Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza."

    "Hymie, I want you to take the offices over in City Center."

    "Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings downtown."

    The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Morris slips away, she says to the wife, "Mrs. Schwartz, your husband must have been such a hard working man to have accumulated so much property."

    Sarah replies, "Property shmoperty...the schmuck had a newspaper route."
  • Baron23
    11.4k
    The owner of a lumber yard is interviewing people for a job in his lumber yard. He has several applicants that day and none of them are particularly noteworthy until a blind man walks in.

    Obviously confused the owner says " um, sir how do you propose you are to work in my lumber yard if you can't see?"

    The main replies, " well sir I can smell the different types of lumber easily!"

    The owner doesn't beleive this at all and has an employee bring in some lumber for the man to smell.

    The blind man takes a sniff of the lumber, asks them to flip it over and takes another sniff of the lumber and says " that's a 2x6x10 of eastern white pine".

    The owner thinks to himself, " okay that was just a lucky guess" and has someone bring in a different type of lumber. The blind man sniffs it twice and replies " that's a 1x6X10 of western red cedar".

    The owner's jaw drops. The owner then decides to mess with the blind man and has his men carry in the secretary. The blind man takes a sniff and says says, " ugh, please flip it over"

    They turn the secretary over and he takes another sniff and says, " whew!!".

    The blind man thinks for a minute and finally replies with, " Now you're just fucking with me, that's a shit house door off a tuna boat!"
  • Rockytdogg
    1.7k
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  • Magicman
    2.3k
    @"Rockytdogg
    Lame.
  • Rockytdogg
    1.7k

    There there, Magicbaby, time for beddy-bye... everything will be better in the morning.

    (btw, an example of "Lame" is not being able to grasp how to use the forum tools... after what, 5+ years.)
  • Señor Negro
    1.6k
    Dude why is there ALWAYS a political insert on your jokes posts?
    I ask because even if they're jokes at this point it seems pretty obvious to me that those are there to provoke, and that's not cool :down: .

    Can you just let it go?

    And , if there were nobody to be provoked maybe, just maybe, he would stop. Don't fall in this silly game.

    PD: Ok, not always, but you get my point.
  • Rockytdogg
    1.7k

    "ALWAYS"...? Puleeze. Not worth answering an exaggerated, if not totally false question. :down:

    Nah, sorry, they're just silly harmless memes and they're lightly picking fun on both sides. I am totally non-political irl, I just like to laff a little... not one of the memes I've posted was meant to provoke anything more than a snicker... :halo:

    And honestly, I wasn't the one that started the bullshit, therefor I have nothing to let go of. :chin:

    But I have no problem trying to be more cognizant of what I post in the future and avoid political stuff... :victory: :up:

    (What a boring shame this world is turning into. :roll: )

    EDIT:
    And ↪Magicman , if there were nobody to be provoked maybe, just maybe, he would stop. Don't fall in this silly game.
    - Señor Negro
    :sweat:
  • Señor Negro
    1.6k
    I edited my post with that "PD" before you had the chance to read it, so you know what I'm talking about.

    Dunno what do you have against Magicman, but even he is not precisely the paradigm of faultless behaviour on this forum he does not deserve the mocking like ANYONE else, so I don't get why it's ok for him and not for the rest of us.
    And if that's not enough you already (should) know that political subjets on this forum are one of the very few rules that makes this forum be, probably, one of the less strict posting sites on the net.

    So please, I ask you again to stop with that.

    PD: To explain myself a bit further so you can understand what I'm talking about, more than for your memes I am worried about the treatment you are giving to Magicman, calling him Magicbaby and the such. I would let it pass if you just post those pics and let it go but you always have keep going with the provocation when he answers, and that's what I find not cool.

    PD2: Editing your post after my reply to delete the part when you have said you would avoid political stuff only if theres (literally quoted) "ANYONE else" offended with those political jokes without stating it is also not cool at all :down: .
  • Rockytdogg
    1.7k


    PD: Ok, not always, but you get my point.
    - Señor Negro

    I edited my post with that "PD" before you had the chance to read it, so you know what I'm talking about.
    - Señor Negro

    Pretty sure there were only a few in like 3 or 4 of my posts, but whatever, man...

    Not sure what else you want me to do here..? Did you read and understand my reply above?

    And I'll ask you now, beg of you, in fact, please leave me alone.
  • Señor Negro
    1.6k
    And I'll ask you now, beg of you, in fact, please leave me alone.Rockytdogg

    Wish granted.
    Next time I will just flag your post and let mods decide what to do as I should have done in the first place.
    I just thought I could reason with you. Seems like I was wrong.

    Sorry for hijacking this thread guys, please ignore this silly argument and continue with the jokes.
  • Rockytdogg
    1.7k

    why is there even an edit function at all....? Hmmm? I thought it was to EDIT mistakes and make retractions and such.... silly stoopid me.

    See, I'm the one being provoked with personal shit, so I reply... that's the way message boards and forums kinda work, people post stuff and reply as they feel fit. And I've been provoked countless times over the years here by Magicbaby (sometimes with no response :scream: ).... way before you ever showed up.

    Not really quite sure who exactly you think you are....

    Flag away!
  • Rockytdogg
    1.7k

    And talk about "not cool"... what about self-righteous diatribes, and "third-man-in", "ganging up" tactics, spiked with threats and insults? The epitome of "not cool" in my book....

    Enjoy your day/night.
  • BestBuds
    2.6k
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    I come here for the absence of politics. This is one of my escapes from the stressful world outside.

    Please, please can we keep it like that? If I wanted to be stressed out and high I would visit my in-laws. :victory: :sweat:



    Back to the matter of humor....
    High thoughts: What are the Canadians hiding on their flag? Is there really a big nasty ding dong behind that leaf? :monkey: :rofl:
  • froglefrog
    9


    LOLLLLLLLLLLLLL :lol: man u critterz crack me up LOLLL!


    is that u??? lollllll
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