• Pud
    733
    m1p15aao8gcomwj0.png

    ...for those who don't recognize character from the Muppets
  • chaos191
    209
    hahah .. where did you find that?
  • Pud
    733
    they were selling the shirts on Facebook

    Hahhaahah!!!
  • Terpenetime
    501
    UK VIRUS ALERT - UPDATE

    The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent virus threat and have therefore raised their threat level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, level may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.”

    The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.

    The virus has been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

    The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let's Get the Bastard.” They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

    The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

    Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”

    The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose.”

    Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

    The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

    Australia, meanwhile, has raised its alert level from “No worries” to “She'll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

    The Russians have said “Its not us”
  • BestBuds
    2.4k
    The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let's Get the Bastard.” They don't have any other levels.Terpenetime
    :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol:
  • Gloeck79
    46
    Joke of the day...Me...lol
  • Bad Dog
    699
    why’s that? Typically I prefer to hear the joke before the punchline
  • Baron23
    11.1k
    Very funny. LOL
  • Gloeck79
    46
    LMAO...What if I was or are the punchline...lol.
  • Gloeck79
    46
    Best way to defeat Coronavirus, drink more Corona till you vomit, this way you will never know if you have it nor care...lol. Very stupid joke, I made myself, why I'm not a comedian...lol.
  • Hapo
    322
    ...no joke...

  • nonamekevin
    9
    crazy, I just watched this yesterday! George is a fucking genius, and his material is still relevant decades later, unfortunately.
  • Pud
    733
    Bleek is toooooo funnny!

  • Pud
    733
    Hypnotizing a rooster

  • Bad Dog
    699
    :lol: :lol: :lol: :rofl: I love the end
  • Pud
    733
    and this rooster vid was my #1000 post!!.. :joke: hahaahahaa!!
  • Baron23
    11.1k
    Doug Smith is on his deathbed with coronavirus and knows the end is near.

    His nurse, his wife, his daughter, and two sons are with him.

    He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a video be made to record his last wishes.

    When all is ready, he begins to speak;

    "My son Bernie, I want you to take the Glen Echo houses"

    "My daughter Susie, you take the apartments over in Rockville"

    "My son Robert, I want you to take the offices over in Chevy Chase"

    "And to Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings in Bethesda"

    The nurse and the witnesses are flabbergasted as they did not realize his extensive holdings, and as Doug slips away, the nurse says, "Mrs. Smith, your husband must have been such a extraordinarily talented and hard-working man to have accumulated all this property."
    _
    _
    _
    After a long pause, the wife replies, "The asshole had a paper route!"
  • Popeye175
    115
    Attachment
    received_825842757904926 (5M)
  • Bud
    15.6k
    bump
145678Next
bold
italic
underline
strike
code
quote
ulist
image
url
mention
reveal
youtube
tweet
Add a Comment

Welcome to Vape Life Forum!