• DregerUS
    Enough marijuana seems that I can stay medicated throughout the whole day and night. I have a great night of sleep.

    I wake up the next morning and I completely realize how handicapped I am, how all my faculties have become so limited. The pain.

    Vaped my first one. I now realize that my body is also hurting and craving the opiates. I need to stick to the weaning process. So far my biggest challenge is to stay away from these f****** pills.
    I need to put out exactly what is allowed for the day. So far I'm backed off half of what I started.

    I woke up with major nauseousness and vomiting. Coughing and dry heaving for the first 30 minutes. I think I'm going to try to drink a Boost or an Ensure, I am not going to be able to eat solid food.
  • DregerUS
    I had a funny conversation with my wife today apparently her mom was upset at her sisters husband because of a silly video which I actually personally thought it was funny... Ain't No Way anything could have been bad or taken out of context because it was okay... he may have made himself look a little silly but it was funny. I laughed only because if she ever found out what I posted.
    I know that's my wife's mom but I can't say that I'm not a little terrified and worried because I see her as my mom too.
  • DregerUS
    Some things are so cute I have to share:
    20170518_121940 (293K)
  • VapeCritic
    Oh man, kitties are my soft spot, I only have one and want a hundred more :D
  • Baron23
    I have followed all of the news about the FL legislature....and now Dept of Healthy....actively undermining and resisting the will of the electorate that was directly democratically expressed via a referendum on a FL constitutional amendment. These guys are pissing on the citizens of the state and are atrocious.

    So, vote early, vote often, vote these assholes out of office and definitely support Morgan as he sues the state for violation of the now amended constitution. 86 these fucking bums.
  • DregerUS
    Have you guys ever felt so much pain that you forget who you are and what you're doing
    ( gnashing of teeth )
    The pain is so intense and my eyes are watering and all my muscles are trembling it's so scary

    I get up I stand still shaking I hear such a high pitched sound ..... I can feel it in the back of my neck it's such a numbing ring, such intensity

    " I hear them, I hear them all, they called to me "
  • Kakarot
    I hate that and I hate feeling like I cannot breathe, ever since my lung collapsed I have sharp pains in my chest and neck along with not being able to breathe, it sucks I know what you mean.
  • DregerUS
    I wager that you have focused so much on each breath as your chest rises and drops with every inhale / exhale. Have you ever focus to the point where you view past yourself and analyze how that particular body part functions. Can you almost see it? Pain helps to bring the image in to focus or can distort it. ( two edge sword )

    "i panic and scream, Can you guys ease up on the pain a bit please."
    and then im back home and the pain comes back

    "i focus on them issuing all the pain, the cruelty, hate, I wish this pain on others."
    and then I'm back home and it hurts even more.

    "i stop, i listen and learn" So many thoughts, some more clearer than others. An attempt to bring one into focus, only distorts it further. The change is a reflection of my influence. (And all the ones in the past before me have always kept tripping up on their own tongues. caution)
    I kneel down, I see the one that's chained up to the wall. Bleeding and battered.
    "We thank you." I bow.
    Im home, my pain is still there, I'm just not the only one who's bearing it. I have choice now.

    I'm cold, who surrounds me now is such a trickster. Was my pain an easier adversary? No, its all connected and this road less traveled needs to be written down. It's part of the Way.

    "Being overbearing in service to a Lord will lead to disgrace. While in relating to friends and companions it would lead to estrangement."

    It's only a whisper (smile) plus I'll let them make their own choices.
  • DregerUS
    20170522_005722 (166K)
  • DregerUS


    One of my biggest fears after they pass it:
    I will only have access to the processed liquid form. And even though it contains high THC, it may be missing one (or many) of the primary ingredients helping me with my anxiety and my depression. Using the CBD oil only extract didn't seem to help in this area, and all I remember is getting super high off one of THC disposable cartridges. I remember feeling the that there was something missing. But I need further testing?!

    Very disappointing, if you agree with the above statement please share.
    your thoughts
  • Kakarot
    I think anything but full use of the flower and letting people grow at least 2 plants is stupid and there is really no point, also when it comes to the chest pain. I had a Spontaneous Pneumothorax I was in the hospital for 14 days, had a chest tube in the front of my chest on the left side beside my heart. That was there for 4 days then I went to surgery. I had a Mechanical Pluradosis,VATS,Wedge Resection and Thoroscopy.. he took the tube out of the front and put one in my back/side again on the left side. That tube stayed for 8 days and damn it was not fun, when I got discharged they literally took a chest xray,pulled the tube out,waited 8 hours took another xray said I was good and he let me leave that night at like 9pm, but the area where the tube was at both in the front and back caused nerve damage and muscle weakness and burning like fire at the base of my head/neck, my abdominal muscles and even in my right arm... He said it would be 12 months probably before/if it goes away and at the same time parts of my chest and back are still numb... it is such a weird feeling
  • DregerUS
    I'm with you bro I feel your pain
  • DregerUS
    (No. I lied. That guy that's chained up, that's the one I know who can really feel your pain) I only get a glimpse. A far cry from the reality of what you went through. I'm so sorry.
  • Kakarot
    I am sure your condition is way worse than what I am going/went through, My biggest fear was not being able to see my daughter again, I have a panic disorder and I about literally lost my mind while I was in there, also had I not already had scripts for Xanax and My Oxycodone 20's they would have not gave me shit, I got 1 extra pain shot while I was in there with no other option of Medical Cannabis. I remember when I woke up from surgery, I have been prescribed Oxy 20's for 8 years almost, 4x a day and they didn't give me my oxy that whole day and when I woke up i was so sick from withdrawal, they gave me 4 5mg to equal out to 20 to keep me from throwing up and then I was fine, mind you the whole time I have been Rx the pills I HAVE NEVER ABUSED THEM. It just goes to show that when you take them for as long as I have it does not matter your body is physically hooked. I don't think I would be able to function normally ever if I quit taking them that combine with being scripted xanax as well for 8 years which can KILL you and phuck you up bad mentally if you quit... sometimes it is just hard to continue, but I have to for my daughter. The only thing that keeps me from being depressed as shit is Cannabis and it does help somewhat with pain, not so much the anxiety though... My biggest dream is just to have a normal, good life with my daughter, ugh I am making myself glass eyed. I also have so much respect for people that have really bad disabilities that is something that is really hard to deal with and you have to have certain characteristics to deal with it and still carry confidence, maybe someday we can be carefree.
  • DregerUS
    rough morning - threw up a lot and intestinal cramps cannot define the s*** I had to go through
    (and clean up, I terminated one towel and one bathroom rug)
    Damn pain pills keep instigating severe irritable bowel syndrome symptoms. I have to deal with this disability and then the constipation and bathroom issues all from the damn pain meds.

  • DregerUS

    Some of the Florida dispensaries have started selling capsules filled with flower marijuana. They sell alongside these capsules a vaporizer intended to be use with these capsules.

    ( similar to the stores and pickles capsules )
    [ such a funny speech to text autocorrect ]

    So the DOH got law enforcement involve to stop these dispensaries. What was passing legislation was the band the smoking out in public not in the privacy of your home. Though I'm unable to smoke marijuana due to my health. It brings the question of who in their right mind would take it out of those capsules and out of that vaporizer in order to smoke it. If the DOH had our best interest they would be pushing for the vaporization since it's healthier.

    They keep incriminating themselves. I don't like this world full of monsters.

    I'm tired of my people getting hurt by them.


    I remember the last words from my ex-doctor:
    (and its recorded)
    I'm afraid you're going to go to your car and get a gun. I don't even own a gun ( I was doubled over crying immensely begging pleading for mercy from all the pain)
    [ was this because of my faith and my religious beliefs; where did that fear come from and why was I treated like that ]
    " that was the last time I saw him, before I got the letter from his office stating that I cannot return to his practice " <he abandoned me>

    ( we remember telling him in the beginning no matter what happens good or bad to stay by my side and see it through, he promised ) when balls were dropped and he found out that there was severe repercussions from it, he got scared and let go

    In his own words, his guilt is in his fear.
  • DregerUS
    fuck my T break

    "The biggest issue with being so close to God is that the devil stands next to you."
  • DregerUS
    I have a memory when I was a child:

    When I was a child I remembered the first bright light when I was born. Or flash
    I think I was younger than 10 years old an older than 5.
    Though I don't remember the light now, I sincerely remember the feeling, and the frustrations of trying to explain it. Nobody believed me back then either. maybe, the question should be:
    "what was that light" [ we did see something but maybe not what we thought it was ]

    People had questions on Memorial Day. Didn't know how to clearly explain what I'm going through. Religious event, extraterrestrial event, words from a crazy man, delusion or hallucinations from intolerable pain or mental breakdown.

    I noticed that sometimes if I didn't talk the answers came out through them. Scary s***.
  • DregerUS
    The majority of people either don't understand it and view it from a reversed perspective or understand pieces that without the whole would lead to the wrong conclusions.
    ( I'll get back to that later )
  • okla68m

    It's called the "Opiate Roller Coaster" !
    August 24, 2017 will be 6 years Clean from those Pills from Satan!
  • DregerUS
    The Coming Convergence

    it has become so difficult to enjoy my vape ... knowing so many are in need and don't have
    ( in my pain I can't stop hearing their screams )

    I'm well-stocked and I finished my second day of PT ... weaning my pain meds is still a challenged, more so now with the added pain and stress from the PT

    I'm still waiting for our 71% to mean something

    Sticking to a liquid-only diet has been helping with digestion but the meal supplemental shakes can get costly.

    Looks like my brother is going to pull the trigger on the new Ghost Vape, can't wait to try that one out.

    My wife and I made dinner together what an awesome date that was today. I don't think anybody else would be as supportive, understanding and loving as her.
    -I love you-

    20170605_001058 (121K)
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